I gazed the night sky. I flied this soullessly body up to the stars, fell hard into constellations. I discovered a world of serenity, though it was too cold. I felt strange, I constantly sobbed for myself. I yelled to the livings, yet to the deads. But I started loving it. I started loving the only close-to-good circusmtance. I knew I was all alone but I started to feel right.
But now I decide to close my eyes instead of count every seconds that always lead to tomorrow; the day I'm most frightened of, yet the day I put my hope into even a bit.
The sun rises. I never do.
I walk against the wind wiping the leaves off. Some of them hit me hard, while I actually step over them, cause them to engulf a suffer. I hear them laugh by the time I make my steps a bit faster. I see them get watery.
And, a heart breaks into smithereens.
A peculiar thing posesses me. Those gloomy clouds in this early morning sky, move toward me. As I finally make - I swear - unconsciously decision I'm sure I will regret it even the seconds after. I pick some of them up. I pick the watery ones.
But I have never been so wrong, until the day they unbelievably bloom, and the day is today. Today, I feel like I don't require them much. I mean, those starry nights.
They introduce me with a thing that's quite similar with the thing I once had every night; a city light. I can't feel the ground. Like I've just consumed heroines, I am overjoyed.
But do you know?
It doesn't last not even for a day. I am now falling back against the ground. I am crashing down, and too devastated even just to stand up. I dont walk straight. I'm being pushed down to a maze that I'm pretty sure I can spend my whole life here just to break these flustering walls.
But, guess what. Up there, is the night sky. Up there, is my favorite constellation.
I might be so lost. But, at last, I will get back there. To the same point, to the same coldness, to the same - only a night, starry sky.