Well, I know I've been moving forward this long, pretending not to care, and its nice to know that I can slowly let go of everything. But today, I know there's still something that has to be cleared. In case to really leave everything behind.
You know, its good to know that you're having a best friend. A friend you can always count on. A friend who's gonna be there in your lowest even highest. A friend that you can go out with anytime even anywhere you want. A friend that supports you through everything. You can be yourself, you get your self-confident 'cause you are both actually encouraging each other, you feel safe, you get the ease, you can't stop laughing over your both lameness, you can't wait for any holiday to have fun sleepover and those teen's thingy. You feel happy. But for me, that was just more likely like summer. It felt beyond fun yet it only lasted for some months.
Its not about how time flies, and changes everyone, everything. Its about the people. The people who couldn't bear any longer for the heartache and wounds. Here I make it clear, that it was definitely NOT only a person who hurt the most, hurt like hell. When society were so damn busy collecting hoaxes to make them more stupid (+to make the condition got even worse), that another one cried. Finding out what she thought was okay, was in total mess. And she got lost. Nobody noticed.
She took the wrong step --- fuck life doesn't come with instructions --- and all she needed was a help. And everyone was totally helping her to get more stupid. They actually knew whats the right thing to do but still they pushed her into the wrong one. But its okay. Day by day, she's getting realized that it ain't that bad. At least she tried her best to make it all better even with the pieces of shit scattered around.
She thought that if there was a right thing to do, the only thing she could do was apologizing. Probably the pains were too awful that nobody would mind hearing her. That with very very sorry, she was rejected at a very first step. She looked for a help but all she got was shit 'cause everything had been ended already and they better took care of their own life, just acted like they didn't know each other anymore. She followed the words. She might tired of being ignored somehow. She gave up.
...So, there's probably no any words of apologize coming out from her mouth, right in front of the one who want to hear it most.
But still, she's blamed. By everyone. Even those who don't know at all.
Very funny. At it used to.
And I guess, as I finish typing these words, I know this is gonna be the last time I talk about that good summer. Its just a perfect pictures of laughter and fun that are gonna live in the deepest corners of my memory. They're only supposed to be remembered, not cried over.
A directly apologize will end everything and I hope everyone is happy.
There goes the good summer, there goes away...